hospitality in china || 中国的服务方式

scene: at langk coffee, a coffee shop close to campus

i’m looking at the coffee/cake combos. the waiter tells me that the combos cost exactly the same as ordering them separately, and we both chuckle. i look through the cakes, but decide against it.

me: “can i have a cappuccino and this yogurt? with muesli?”
he tells me there is no muesli, but he can do cereal.
i shrug, “okay, 也可以.”
he stands there looking awkward. “how about you try our milk tea? it’s really good, we make it here.”
“mm, i think i want a coffee,” i respond.

he nods and turns to take my friend’s order.

then he turns back to me: “so, you want a yogurt and a milk tea?”
i remind him: “uh no, capuccino.”
he stands looking at me, and shifts uncomfortably.
“怎么了？what’s wrong?” i ask
“it’s not good to have so much milk and coffee in the morning, and it’s so cold out. you should have coffee after you’ve eaten some more. why don’t you have some tea?” he says beseechingly.

i sigh, and give in.

20 minutes later, i am served a large mug of pu’er milk tea, and a large slice of cake. i laugh. i didn’t order EITHER of these things.

my friend: why did you just say okay??
me: eh, i’m used to it, it’s the chinese way.
her: but you’re paying!
i shrug.

me in my head: but this is often how chinese people show love for each other—by making decisions for each other, based on strange, intricate, and often baseless beliefs about health, thinking they know best. and who am i to reject love, upon recognizing it as such? it feels so much better to speak this alien language correctly, to show that i understand.

—

地点：一个离校园很近的咖啡店

我在看菜单里的咖啡和蛋糕的套餐。

我问那服务员：这些套餐都是什么种蛋糕啊？
他：我们今天没有。反正要是你单点的话也是一样的钱。
我决定还是别要蛋糕。
我：可以要一个卡布和一个酸奶吗？
他：我们这儿的奶茶挺好的，你要不要试一下？
我：我现在还是要个咖啡吧。
他：….噢，好。
他转身问我的朋友她要什么。然后他有转过身跟我重复一下我所点的。
他：你要一个奶茶，一个酸奶？
我：不是，我要的是卡布。
他：….
我：怎么了？
他：怎么早，外面也挺冷的，现在咖啡会对你的胃不好。你还是别喝咖啡吧。要个奶茶，过会儿可以再要个咖啡。

我笑着说：好吧好吧。

二十分钟后，他带来了一大杯奶茶和一大块儿蛋糕。我哑然失笑。他也把我酸奶换成蛋糕了。

我的朋友也笑了：你为什么没有坚持啊？
我：不知道，反正中国人就是这样的。
她：可是是你的钱啊！
我耸耸肩。

可是我想：中国人就是这样表示爱：为别人想，用好多古老和复杂的概念来管理别人的健康。我既然明白这是一种关心，我怎么忍心不接受？我还是更愿意表示我明白这异己的爱情语言。