one of my grandma’s favorite stories, if not her favorite story, to tell about my childhood is the time when, i don’t remember exactly how old i was but i was in that fraught period between being fully potty trained and going off diaper, & i pee’d my pants. and i puttered over to her room, for in those days she stayed with us every summer when i was out of school to take care of me at home—so i puttered over to her room and announced: 姥姥，我peepee在裤子里啦！i pee’d my pants!
she heard this as 姥姥，我屁屁在裤子里！which is to say, my ass is in my pants!
so she replied 那当然，你的屁屁不在裤子里在哪儿呢？
which is to say — duh, where else would your ass be if not in your pants?
it took us a lot of back and forth before she realized what i meant. it was like our own version of hu’s on first.
anyways, she brings this up within a couple hours of any conversation we have about our past, and every time she chortles so heartily tears begin leaking from the corners of her eyes.
for the first couple times, i laughed too. then for awhile, i just kind of scoffed along and rolled my eyes, half-embarrassed, half-bored. but after approximately a million retellings, it’s funny again, because now i hear it from her side.
sometimes, to reiterate the terrible metaphor, a dead horse can be beaten back to life! they don’t tell u about that part.
hog maw 