the mask of no mask

at iowa swine day, no one wore a mask.

no, nobody, despite the hourlong presentations on “african swine flu,” despite the fact that it was a conference of scientists, despite the fact that everyone universally vaccinated their pigs and preemptively fed them antibiotics, no, surely, their belief in science could not be questioned, and yet, and yet, nobody, not a single person wore a mask.

not even me.

(sorry, ma)

my singular goal in wanting to attend this conference was to make some of these scientist friends, and i have sacrificed a lot to be able to do so. like getting towed 240 miles and putting the grueling work of moving out of a well-loved apartment onto the unsuspecting backs of my hyde park friends and earning the angsty resentment of my dearest of roommates, as they angrily asked if i had to leave in the final days of moving, and did i really expect them to clean up after me.

of course, i did not leave them to clean up on their own. but i was not there, and refused to return even upon blowing the rim of my car wheel because i had to get to iowa swine day and make some scientist friends to begin my year of research. this is an annual event, folks. and i have one research year.

and i quickly recognized the midwestern state of affairs as my tow truck driver hacked noisily into the crook of his elbow between sips of red bull working his 12 hour a day 5 days a week towing shifts. he drives party buses and does lawn work on the two days in between. as we discovered pretty early on our economy doesn’t work without sick people — i mean — “essential workers” showing up at their jobs, in higher rates than ever, so “fuck you, and fuck us” [ronnie chieng — speakeasy].

so, i’m in the sauce. besides i would rather get covid than ruin my chances of being considered an insider to this party. and for that i must wear this mask of no mask, this mask of transparency, this mask of i have nothing to hide, no danger to pass on, no elderly to protect, no children to shield, this dangerous and deathly invisibly smiling mask of american freedom.